Requiem for a dream
by Feral Geek
Summary: Prequel to 'Show No Fear'. The backstory of the Hive Queen Malka, starting around age five to present day, further attempt to explore Wraith social structure.
1. Introduction

Title: Requiem for a Dream

Author: Feral Geek

Rating: pg-13 to R

Spoilers: None

Summary: The story of an original character, a Wraith Queen by the name of Malka.

A/N: uh...hi! Malka is mine, but the Wraith belong to MGM and Gekko...so don't sue me...and if you like this, go check out my other stories! This could be considered a 'prequel' to 'Show No Fear', 'Mating Rituals' and 'Childhood's End' (Childhoods End is still in the planning process)

---

They say we are without mercy.  
Compassion.  
Love.

They who know nothing, they whose lives are like a candle flame;  
small and flickering, frantically trying to survive as the hand of time descends.

We show them no mercy simply because they are without real life, having only a pitiful façade to call an existence.

It is they who are without mercy.  
I have seen them burn one another, sobbing women and men buried beneath stones and shoved beneath water.  
Constantly ripping and biting, they are mad, plague ridden things.

It is they who are without compassion.  
I have seen children huddled under an awning, begging for the tiniest scrap of bread.  
And I the only one to care, I, a Wraith, taking them and granting them life, when their own kin could do nothing of the sort.

They know nothing of love.  
Perhaps, they feel the tiniest bit, a nagging prickle in the back of their minds.  
Even those who claim to love will hurt one another.  
They lie to one another, abuse and destroy one another.  
Humans can never be as close to their so-called beloved as we can be, they can never share a soul.

Humans are far beneath the Wraith.  
Now, perhaps you will see why we so loathe them, why we feel no qualms when we take them.  
---

_Those were the words drilled into my skull as a child._

_Over and over as I sat beside my mother's throne, watching in silence as human after human was dragged in.  
Over and over the reasons why we could not look upon them and feel, why we could form no bonds and share no love._

_We are the predators...and they are the prey.  
To think of it any other way will only serve to bring madness._

_There are many things in this life I wish I had not done.  
And there are many things I wish I had._

This is my requiem.

---

A/N: Well, I hope you liked my first chapter! Just a quick introduction, spoken by Malka...I am going to have interludes like this, but for the most part it will be like my other fics, in 3rd person for the most part.

Please leave a review.


	2. Branching out

Title: Requiem for a Dream

Author: Feral Geek

Rating: Pg-13 to R

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis does not belong to me; however I belong to the Wraith (they keep me in a teensy box on board a hive ship!)

Summary: Prequel to 'Show No Fear' the back story of the Queen Malka.

A/N: Please review! And when you finish this, check out my other stuff.

ONWARDS

---

In silence she followed her mother; eyes pinned on the ancient female's back, occasionally tripping over her own feet in her desperation to keep pace.  
It would be years before the small girl would have the typical Wraith grace, the sinuous movement of the hunter.

But her mother was the epitome of all things graceful.

In Malka's eyes, Nagaira was perfect, for mother is God in the eyes of a child. While Malka walked at the left of her mother, another walked at the Queen's right, the suited position for the heir.  
The adolescent Calian was already growing into her position, even at the tender age of twelve she bore the same regal posture and coldly aloof expression that their mother bore at nearly all times.

But today Calian was not so proud looking, yes her shoulders were back and her head held high, the pitch colored hair neat and the white dress in pristine condition.  
It was the small things that Malka noticed from the corner of her eye.  
The way the young female constantly shifted her grip on the strap of her case, as though it was too heavy for her to carry.  
The slight quiver to her hands.

Once, Malka had the temerity to ask where they were headed.  
Her sister said nothing, and her mother looked down, one brow arched at her daughter's impudence.   
When the child stared back, her elder looked amused, as though proud of her daughter's sheer audacity, and replied, "In time, my child, you will see...but this day is not for you."  
Malka had blinked a few times, but asked no more questions.

This was part of the Hive that Malka had never entered; spending her first five years of life in her parents private wing, everything she had ever needed had been within her grasp.

The trio paused before a door, the thin opaque membrane hiding everything within.  
Malka stared up at her mother in confusion; the female opened the door and lightly pushed the small girl forward.  
When Malka turned back, Nagaira was already walking away, but Calian stayed behind for a minute, kneeling before her younger sister and folding her into her arms.  
The occupants of the room; a number of children around Malka's age and a pair of female watchers, all averted their eyes politely.  
Public displays of affection were rare among the Wraith, thus it was very impolite to watch one of those few special moments.

No words were exchanged, and the embrace was over quickly, leaving Malka to stare at her swiftly retreating sibling in something akin to wonder.   
Years later, Malka would understand what had happened there, Calian knew that she would never return from her Trial and was saying goodbye.

However she simply stared as the door slid shut before one of the watchers led her into the room.  
A few of the other children wandered over, and after a bit of play, introduced themselves.  
They were still children and did not yet understand the gravity of their names, and would freely give them out to all that asked.

By the end of the day, she would be rather happily sitting with the four other females in her age group, watching the males play from the other side of the room.

Almost like humans, wraith children tended to separate that way, as though the other gender had 'cooties'.  
But when she grew older she would find the company of the other females irritating, and would begin to gravitate towards the males for company.  
There was none of that hideously stupid plotting and mutterings among the males...if there was a problem between them; they would settle it in a much faster way.  
By fighting.

Somehow, Malka would find that to be a far better idea.

---

A/N:   
Friends! Romans! Countrymen!  
Lend me your reviews!  
Quote from Silent Hill, the movie


	3. Well Informed

Title: Requiem for a Dream Author: Feral Geek Rating: Pg-13 to R Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis does not belong to me; however I belong to the Wraith (they keep me in a teensy box on board a hive ship)  
Summary: Prequel to 'Show No Fear' the back story of the Queen Malka.  
A/N: Please leave a review, and when you finish this, check out my other stuff.  
ONWARDS ---

In silence she knelt before her mother.  
After a few long seconds she felt Nagaira's eyes upon her, and she glanced up for the barest moment, still waiting carefully.  
She did not want to overstep her bounds.  
That was how things were; while in public even the family of the Queen had to show the same amount of respect that the most lowly drone had to show her.  
Anything less could be considered treason, or worse, rebellion.

"Speak, daughter."

Malka kept her head down, having to strain her eyes to look up at her mother, "I heard some of the females speaking earlier...they mentioned my sister" she paused slightly, swallowing before continuing, "Mother...where is she"  
A frigid silence met her question as Nagaira stood swiftly and made her way towards the door.  
The soft material of the female's coat snapped near her daughter's ear, and over the creak of leather, Malka heard the response. "You have no sister."

Shocked, the young female looked up, turning in time to see the doors slide shut.  
Malka would kneel there for some time.  
In silence she came, and in silence she would leave.  
--

Calian was never mentioned after that.  
--

The instructor regarded her with narrow eyes, once again having to move her during the class.  
Despite the rules, Malka stubbornly refused to sit with the other females of her age group, choosing to sit at one of the low tables in the back with two of the male students.

She didn't sit with them simply to defy the instructor, but simply because it was easier to work with the two young males, they weren't constantly deferring to her opinion simply because she was the future Queen.  
These two had a habit of telling her when she was wrong, or challenging her opinion when they thought it right.  
That was refreshing.

However the instructor refused to listen to her arguments, the tables were set up the way they were for a reason, that way the students could better play off of one another's strengths and weaknesses, making a better dynamic in the class.

The children had to learn this way, or they would never get anywhere in the Wraith society.

Not only were they supposed to learn various generic subjects; technological, linguistic, mathematical, and scientific courses, but these were also lessons in the social dynamic of the Hive.  
Higher ranking students were supposed to sit together to simulate the higher council they would become, learning to make decisions with one another.

The future Queen was not supposed to sit with a pair of low-caste males that would be lucky to become lower ranking scientists, or middle-ranking soldiers.  
She was not supposed to understand their minds better than those of the future Keepers and Commanders.

Malka was nothing like her older sister had been, where the other female had been calm and collected, Malka was volatile and erratic at times, doing things simply out of spite. 

This time, the instructor watched in silence as the break ended, and Malka did not resume her seat amongst the other females and higher ranking males, a huff of irritation escaping her lips as she watching the young female flick a strand of bright hair from her face, waiting for the lesson to resume.  
The older female shook her head and looked out at the small group, "In one year's time you will be embarking on your Trial," she said calmly, studying the confused expressions on their faces.  
A few looked like they were going to ask questions, but the instructor cut them off, "Each Wraith must go through their own Trial before the Change," the children glanced at one another, the Change was the time in a Wraith's life when they started to become adults, when they would finally be able to feed properly.  
"A typical Trial lasts for two to three years…the Trial ends when a Wraith has fed from their first human…you are not allowed to leave the planet that you are placed upon, and you may contact no Wraith for assistance"  
Suddenly a bloom of understanding came to Malka as the instructor continued to speak, "Not all of you will return from the Trial"  
Dimly she remembered her older sister departing and never returning…Calian had been around her age.

"We do not speak of those who have not returned from their Trial, and we never speak of our own…it is something to survive"  
The elder turned from the students, the class was over early, "We will begin preparations tomorrow…do not be late."

As one the students stood, bowing to the instructor before leaving the room.  
---

"Did you know we are the only Hive left that actually has the Trial?" a low voice spoke in her ear, startling her as she looked around for the source.  
"Are you serious?" Malka asked, sounding incredulous as she watched Ekasix drop onto the bench beside her, the male faking a wounded expression, "Have I ever lied to you"  
The female's brows rose as she said, "Yes, you have," she deadpanned, making her friend shake his head, "I'm serious, Mal…" he replied, "Apparently the others outlawed the practice during the wars…back when we needed all the fighters we could get."

Malka looked worried for a moment, "That many died on the Trials?" she asked, voice lowering, barley audible over the sounds of sparring.  
Ekasix leaned in, nodding, "Yes…even ours banned the practice…but we brought it back…to weed out the weak and keep the Hive strong"  
Mutely she pressed her forehead against her friend's "Where did you learn of this?" her eyes closed slightly, looking slightly ill before she regained her composure, listening to the answer, "The archives"  
Ekasix sighed, "Don't worry…we'll make it out…its going to take more than a few years on a human planet to get rid of us"  
She grinned and leaned back, gripping his hand, "Famous last words, my friend," she whispered, but looked amused all the same, "Do you know what planet you are being sent to"  
The male nodded slightly, and she could feel his hand tightening around hers, "A planet on the edge of this system, the natives call it 'Hoff'…what about you"  
Everyone was nervous about the Trial, no matter how calm they appeared outwardly.  
"I'll be in a different system…someplace called 'Athos'," she returned, keeping her voice down.  
They weren't supposed to talk about where they were going…not that it would stop them.

-TBC-  
---

A/N: So, what do you think so far? 


	4. Research

Title: Requiem for a Dream Author: Feral Geek Rating: Pg-13 to R Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis does not belong to me; however I belong to the Wraith (they keep me in a teensy box on board a hive ship)  
Summary: No summary for you! -smirk- You hafta read (I'm ebil)  
A/N: -looks up- I wonder what spawned this fic…please review!  
ONWARDS ---

She was falling behind.

Under normal circumstances, Malka could easily keep pace with her favored companion.  
However they were racing through a section of the Hive she had never entered, and it felt like they had been running for hours.  
And given the size of the Hive, that was all too possible.

The young female stumbled slightly, not looking where she was going as she vainly sought to keep the flicker of white that was her companion's clothing in sight.  
If not for a pair of large hands catching her, she would have slammed into the floor at top speed.  
Malka's breath hitched as the floor stopped rushing up, her body jerking slightly as her momentum was suddenly checked.  
The hands carefully set her back on her feet, a low chuckle escaping her savior as he did so, saying "You should be more careful"  
Despite the fact that he had just rescued her from a rather painful accident, she whirled around and glared, "And you should watch your tone," she spat back.  
By the male's startled expression, he had not realized exactly who he had been speaking too, and, after a moment, bowed.  
Malka took the moment to study him; a soldier, and a low ranking one, if the rough cut and obvious wear of his uniform was anything to go by.  
Other than that, he was a rather average, with sharp features and long limbs his only truly striking feature seemed to be his eyes; the irises were a fiery orange, a color rare in this Hive.

She was torn out of her study when Ekasix darted back around the corner, spotting the pair and walking over.  
To her infinite surprise, it was the soldier who bowed to her friend and, for once, not the other way around.  
He must have been low ranking indeed, to have to acknowledge Ekasix.  
She had resumed staring at the soldier's now retreating form when her friend tugged on her arm.  
"We must hurry!" he hissed, "The archives will not remain unguarded for much longer."

Three nights prior, the young male had stolen to her quarters and revealed a plan for the pair of them to get into the archives during a change in guard shifts.  
How the youth had come across this information was something she would never know, the archives were always under heavy guard.  
Which meant that Ekasix would not have such a low rank once someone realized exactly how stealthy he was.  
And that would take a long time, sadly, because he knew the Hive like it was part of himself.

Malka blinked and noted that Ix had once again nearly vanished down the corridor, and she began to run again, finding him again fifteen minutes later when she nearly barreled into him as she turned a corner. In silence he padded away from her, peering around a corner before looking back at her and beckoning.  
Not questioning him, she obeyed, careful to stay quiet as she sidled up to the door he was trying to open.  
It took a few nervous moments of fiddling before it finally slid open a bit, and they were able to slid in before the doors closed again.  
They would have two hours until the next guard shift, and that would be plenty of time to do their research. As her companion called up one of the displays, Malka lounged against one of the display tables and asked, "Why do you need me here?"

The young male sent her a scathing look over one shoulder, "You know full well that I have trouble reading," he snapped.

In all honesty, Malka had forgotten that he had difficulties reading, and suddenly remembered that the male had issues comprehending the words that would come up on the displays around the Hive.  
Once, she had asked him why, and he tried to explain that the letters seemed to be out of the correct order and it would take him longer to realize which word the letters were creating.  
It had baffled her for some time, and watching his frustration as he muddled out the words.

She was here because it would take less time to gather the information about the words they were going to, even though it would be harder to slip past the guards with two of them.  
Even though the fact that he needed help would frustrate and embarrass him to no end.  
The sounds of moving bodies outside of the room alerted her to the reason she was here.  
And that was to help Ekasix gather as much information about the planets they were going to before the next change in shift.  
Mutely she pushed herself away from the console she had been leaning on, and walked over to one of the large displays and got to work.  
--

Two hours later, the sound of moving feet reached their ears again, slowly fading into the distance.  
The two children looked at one another before turning back to their displays, carefully shutting every system down after erasing any evidence of their presence.  
Then, as one, they padded slowly to the door, listening intently before opening the door a crack and watching the corridor before opening it fully.  
Malka was the first one out, streaking across the broad passageway and onto a smaller path, ducking around a corner and waiting anxiously for her companion to join her.  
Two nerve-wracking minutes passed before he skidded around the corner, grabbing her by the wrist and nearly dragging her along.  
Over the sounds of their ragged breathing and pounding feet, she could hear the heavier tread of adults following theirs.  
Someone had seen them.

Malka tried to force her legs to keep moving, lest she fall again and cause them to be caught.  
The punishment for their little escapade would be severe.

Suddenly Ekasix whipped around a corner, and for a moment Malka felt herself leave the ground, a small cry escaping her as she was pulled into an alcove formed by a series of supports.  
Another startled sound escaped her, but that was muffled by the very thing that had caused it; Ekasix had slapped a hand over her mouth to silence her.  
Just in time as well, because a small group of guards ran through the path they had been using, still chasing after them.

The children stood there for a few heartbeats, and were just starting to relax when another guard came into view.  
The male paused in front of their hiding spot, and a pair of sharp orange eyes seemed to lock onto them for a moment, before their owner turned his head and trotted after his companions.

For a moment she felt boneless, before she straightened up and ripped his friend's hand off of her mouth, turning to fix him with a baleful stare before stepping from the small alcove and looking around.  
"Where are we?" she asked hushed tones.  
He didn't reply, stepping out of the hiding place and looking around for a moment to get his bearings, before picking a direction and starting off.  
Malka sighed and trotted after him, wondering when he had the time to explore as much as he did.  
She tended to forget that he didn't have the extra lessons that the highborn were given, and that he didn't have an image to keep up.  
Once his lessons were over, he was essentially allowed to do what he pleased.  
Which was anything, as he tended to buck the rules whenever possible.  
--

They would return to the central area of the Hive in one and a quarter hours, entering through the Dart bay.  
She had always liked this area, despite its rather cold silence, and the white miasma that rolled off of the thin web like pathways that crossed it.  
The young female especially liked the Darts, thinking them to be graceful, a sight to behold as they shot through the air overhead on the way to battle or a culling.

As they had walked, the pair had pooled the information gleaned from the archives.  
Basic things, history of the planet, topography and climate.  
As well as mapping out the human groupings that resided closest to the Ring.  
That was the most important thing.  
However the Trial was still something that loomed in the distance, still a worrisome thing despite their knowledge.  
As if sensing her thoughts, Ekasix looked back at her, and asked quietly, "Are you afraid"  
Malka looked away from her friend, lip curling slightly as she pulled her shoulders back and replied coolly, "I'm not afraid of anything."

He must have seen past her bravado, and replied, "You don't have to pretend around me"  
The honesty in his words made her shoulders sag slightly and look back at him wordlessly.  
Despite her silence, Ekasix must have understood, because he nodded slightly and said, "I'm afraid as well…", he then paused and glanced away, looking suddenly nervous, before adding, "I don't want anything to happen to you"  
Malka's eyes widened slightly as his face colored with embarrassment, greenish skin darkening as he looked away.  
"I don't want anything to happen to you either," she replied calmly.  
He was her closest friend, and she wasn't sure what she would do without him around.  
He nodded slightly, falling into step with her as they picked their way across the bay.  
"We shall be fine," she added confidently, glancing over at him for a moment.  
But once she looked at him, the sudden assurance that had filled her seemed to drain away, leaving her colder than before, and feeling slightly ill.  
As though something was telling her he wouldn't return.  
Or that he wouldn't return as she knew him.  
--

-TBC-  
A/N: well? -prod- review please! 


	5. Interlude

Title: Requiem for a Dream

Author: Feral Geek

Rating: Pg-13 to R

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis does not belong to me; however I belong to the Wraith (they keep me in a teensy box on board a hive ship!)

Summary: No summary for you! -smirk- You hafta read (I'm ebil)

A/N: -looks up- I wonder what spawned this fic…please review!

ONWARDS

---

_I have always been subject to…premonitions._

_This does not mean I can "see the future", as humans so bluntly put it._

_No, none of my kind can do that; even with our enhanced mental abilities, we are too wrapped up in the physical realm to dare step from the river of life and trace its path._

_However…we all have a certain…gift, so to speak, for sensing when and where the threads of our fate tangle or cross paths with others._

_In that moment, the one so small and inconspicuous, I could feel the knots that Ekasix and I had so carefully crafted over the years begin to loosen._

_We were growing older, and I knew that our bond…no matter how strong it was…may not survive the changes our Trials would bring about._

_If our bodies could survive at all._

---

A/N:

Yep, that was Malka talking…there will be a number of wee interludes where she talks to the reader.

This is her requiem, after all.

You'll always know the interludes, because I'll put them in italics.

Please review!


	6. Beginnings

Title: Requiem for a Dream

Author: Feral Geek

Rating: Pg-13 to R

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis does not belong to me; however I belong to the Wraith (they keep me in a teensy box on board a hive ship!)

Summary: No summary for you! -smirk- You hafta read (I'm ebil)

A/N: -looks up- I wonder what spawned this fic…please review!

ONWARDS

---

Quietly the pair stared down at the game of strategy they played.

As usual, Malka was loosing.

She had always lacked the finesse and flair for strategy that most females had.

Honestly, Malka had no use for the petty games they played, and found their simpering tactics to become grating as time wore on.

It was so much better to get on with it and attack.

And that was reflected on the sunken board game that the pair played over.

Nearly all of her Darts were captured…to be honest nearly all over her pieces were captured.

All she really had left were two drones, one Dart, one Cruiser, and the Hive.

However, nearly all of the members of her age group would admit that she would show her true colors when things began to become strained.

Under normal circumstances, her planning was shoddy at best…and yet…she had a talent for showing grace under pressure.

In silence she contemplated the board, nearly oblivious to her companion as he spoke in low tones.

There was no need for them to be covert…the other children in their age group were still trying to prepare for their Trial, deciding what they would take in the bag they were allowed.

Each child could bring anything they wished, as long as it fit in the bag.

And, of course, as long as it was not a weapon.

Malka had chosen to pack lightly; a spindle of sturdy twine, a sleeping fur, a waterproofed hide she could use when the world became damp, and a number of flint stones she had gathered for the purpose of creating small fires to keep warm with.

She did not want to be weighed down on this journey.

And she prayed that she had made the correct decisions.

Lost in her contemplation, it took Malka a moment to realize that Ekasix was asking if she felt prepared for her Trial.

He was the kin of her heart, and there could be only honesty between them, so she answered simply, "No…and I shall never be prepared."

To her surprise, her response caused the male to snort sharply at her, as though to say 'typical'.

Though she knew that he was just as frightened as she was, she took offense to his words, eyes narrowing sharply as she hissed at him.

"If you have something to say, then say it."

Ekasix looked taken momentarily taken aback, before he gave her a smile that was more of a sneer, "You are never prepared for anything Malka," he replied smoothly, "You never will be."

It was then that she felt something snap in her mind, and her eyes narrowed dangerously.

Such insolence would not be tolerated.

The young male must have realized exactly what he had done, because for a moment worry flashed over his face, before the usual calm mask slipped back into place, and he offered a cautious, "Malka?"

One of her hands clenched tightly around the edge of the table as he continued, "It is true and you know it well," now these were the words of panic, unable to stop the flow, "I fear the day you become Queen, for that will be the beginning of our end."

With those words, her world shattered.

In one motion she stood, the pieces to their game flung from the board as she leaned over the male.

Suddenly she radiated the pure aura of a Queen.

And he trembled before her, trying to rectify his mistake, "Malka…"

Ekasix got no further than that, for one of her hands snapped up, and she spoke, words pure with venom, "Do not presume to speak my name, you shall address me with the respect due to the future Queen."

Malka turned on one heel and stalked from the room, managing to keep the shattered pieces of her world in place as she nearly ran, blind with fury, through the Hive.

Only when she allowed herself to stop, did her vision clear enough for her to see the small training room to which she had fled.

Slowly she sank into the warm sands that covered the floor, and allowed the pieces to fall.

---

_The wraith do not cry, not because of emotion._

_We cry when we are in pain, our eyes water when we become ill._

_But never in sorrow._

_At times, I have envied humans for this ability to grieve in silence, to let the water roll down their cheeks and take away some of the pain they feel._

---

The female drew one shuddering breath before a low moan escaped her, venting her sorrow in the only way she knew how.

But she managed to keep the sounds of her grief low, despite the fact that it would be so much easier to loose an unearthly howl and let every Wraith in the area know of her pain.

Let them know it, and offer some small comfort.

And still, someone must have heard, because she eventually felt a light tingle in the base of her skull that indicated someone wishing to speak.

It did not feel like one of the adolescents in her age-group, so she hesitantly allowed the sweet warmth of another into her mind.

She would stay like that for some time, before she had calmed down enough to notice that the other had departed, leaving a small fizz of happiness behind.

Malka would remember that small fizzing feeling for a long time.

---

_To revoke a bond of friendship is perhaps one of the most difficult things for a Wraith to do._

_To have trusted another enough to share your name with them._

_To let them see the most sacred part of you._

_And then to have them betray your trust, even if it is so small a thing…like the insult Ekasix gave to me._

_It burns._

_And I shall always regret the pain I caused myself, and the pain I caused him._

---

--

Not a week had passed between her fight with Ekasix, and she was already being led through the Hive by her mother, just as Calian had been all those years ago.

She had chosen the heaviest dress she owned, as well as the sturdiest pair of boots.

Malka had contemplated packing extra clothing, but realized it would be pointless, it would weight her down, and she would soon outgrow the items.

But she did slip a coat of thick leather into the bag before she had departed from her quarters.

In silence she stared ahead, chin up and shoulders back as she walked beside her mother, fighting to keep from cringing as the mouth of the Hive came into view.

There were few children left, all of them departing with an series of guards flanking them.

Supposedly an honor guard, but it was more likely that they were there to keep the children from trying to hide on the home world.

Malka paused in the threshold, causing Nagaira to push her forward, "Do not shame me child," she whispered.

That was as close to a 'I believe in you' as she would ever get from the Queen.

And Malka resented her for that.

So she stared ahead for a moment, before striding into the room and waiting for her appointed guards.

They came swiftly enough, swooping in around her and escorting her out of the Hive and through the forests that separated their Home from the Gateway.

As they reached the Gateway, the guards parted before her, allowing her to walk to the dialing mechanism and dial out.

By now she had the codes for the home world and Athos memorized, and the motions came mechanically as she watched the wormhole explode though the Gateway.

Once it had settled enough, she was driven to the Ancient ring and made to step through first.

The planet on the other side was beautiful, and she could hear the sounds of human civilization deep in the distant darkness.

She slowly relaxed, it looked just like home.

Until she tilted her head back and looked at the stars.

They were wrong.

And that was when the sickness returned full force, causing her to rip her eyes from the alien sky and settle them on something familiar, needing to be grounded.

Malka stared at her honor guard, nervously reaching out to them mentally, seeking comfort from them.

At her hesitant touch, each male slammed up that wards that all Wraith learned as children.

The pain was almost unbearable.

With each mind that closed to her, it was as though something had reached into her chest and was tugging fitfully at her heart, trying to tear it out.

Malka pressed one of her hands to her chest, as though that might block the physical pain that this rejection brought about.

But her attempts were in vain, with each mind that pushed her away, a piteous whimper escaped her lips, and it a new sensation joined the sharp tugging pains.

A constriction in her chest that rendered her unable to breathe momentarily, unable to call out the words her mind was screaming.

---

'_Do not leave me here! Do not leave me alone!'_

_The wraith are not solitary beings._

_Yes, we may keep to ourselves, keep to our clans and perhaps open ourselves to one or two kin of the heart, and of course, we open ourselves to our mates._

_Such a small group, compared to the social groups of humans._

_We may have only three other beings that we can rely on fully, but we are never alone._

_Not alone in the true sense of the word._

_We may chose to walk alone, to sit alone and feed alone._

_To keep our lairs to ourselves and not open our spirits fully to another._

_But still, we are not alone._

_Always we are surrounded by our Hive-mates, there is always another Wraith nearby._

_And always that gentle comfort of another mind, so like a soft warm fur, something to curl in and lose oneself in._

_We are connected._

_To be thrust away, rejected and forced from the supportive mental network…_

_It feels as though something has torn into your chest and ripped our your still beating heart._

_No, those words are to gentle…_

_The pain cannot be expressed in words._

_For a creature continually surrounded by the light presence of other minds, to suddenly be abandoned in one's own head is…terrifying to say the least. _

_It is the first of the many rigors of the trial._

_Before you can survive the wild._

_Before you can survive the humans, and ultimately the other Wraith, one must first survive oneself._

---

But the only sounds that could force themselves out of her throat were those strange, animalistic whimpers as her knees buckled and she sank to the ground.

Then, one by one, each of her guards turned away from her and stepped through the Gateway.

The last of the guards lingered for the barest of moments, staring back in silence as she memorized the face of the last Wraith she would see for the duration of the trial.

---

_It would not be my mother's face, it would not be my father's, nor even that belonging to the kin of my heart._

_No, it would be his image, burned into my mind in those last, terrifying moments, that would comfort me when I was most alone._

_For he was the last to turn away_

---

Finally, after an eternity that spanned four heartbeats, the male turned away from Malka and stepped through the Gateway.

And thus her trial began.

---

A/N:

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